who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
