omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
