just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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