no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize