i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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