what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
