Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
