I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You ate ashes out of my bong
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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