Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
