well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
