Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.