Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
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they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?