its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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