I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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