.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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