I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
