No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
