He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize