I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
