I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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