Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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