sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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