her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
