he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
