Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
