I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
