I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize