Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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