The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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