why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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