just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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