we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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