he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
