I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
