But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize