I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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