At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
