shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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