with your own penis?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
