no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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