Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
