So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
