first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
