Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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