i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
