make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
