His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
