I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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