apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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