When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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