Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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