dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
