dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
