i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
