What a fucking waste of an outfit
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
