Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
