he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
