just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
