Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
