If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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