talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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