Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
