What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
